richard's notions.

well... here i am, spending my last night alone in my apartment. it's a bit strange. surreal, i guess would be a good word. it doesn't feel like the next time i'm sitting at this same computer, typing on this same blogger, i will be different. i'll be a husband. ...
i feel like i have a million things that need to be done. but i'm not stressed at all. anxious, i am. and excited. i'm like jumping around from thing to thing. i made our wedding announcements at kinko's today. i paid a total of $7.22 for special paper and 66 announcements and 30 double sided song sheets. seemed like a good deal to me.

have you ever felt like you want to say something profound? that's how i feel now. and part of me even wants to sound profound by saying i want to sound profound. and saying that i want to sound profound by saying i want to sound profound. i think i look foolish, though. (and that's profound?)

oh... and the next time i'm here, at this same apartent... i'll get to have some fun sex.

posted by Richard Okimoto at 00:33.

i've also decided that people will ignore your points and questions when they don't agree with them or don't like the answers.

posted by Richard Okimoto at 13:16.

i've decided that people will accept anything, in some degree, as long as it's what they want to hear.

(me included)

posted by Richard Okimoto at 09:07.

i got this in the mail over the weekend. i thought it was pretty stinkin' funny. i know it made me laugh, anyways.



posted by Richard Okimoto at 17:51.

with only FIVE DAYS until megan and i are wed, i have been thinking about marriage alot lately. and in doing that, i have been completely and totally blown away at the amazing analogy scripture presents us with in the church being the bride of christ.

it's simply amazing how well the analogy is suited for the relationship. the only problem is that husbands sin, and christ does not.

posted by Richard Okimoto at 15:38.

lately i've been trying to get this presuppositional argument down pat... so that i can actually use it in real life situations and defend the faith more strongly and not have to say 'i don' t know. let me get back to you on that.'

i don't know why, but i can't seem to get a grip on it to put it all into my own words. you know that feeling? like when you're in class and the instructor is explaining something and you understand it and are following along just fine... and then he asks you to go through another example. and you're like... "uh... like this? no, no... like this. right? or... like this!....yeah, that's it..."

am i alone in feeling that way?

so anyhow... that's how i am with this presuppositionalism. i read it, and i recognize the truth in it. but i can't seem to apply it to a real conversation. and so that's been pretty frustrating for me.

the other day i realized that i really shouldn't be frustrated. i mean... i should defnitely want to know the stuff, but i can't worry about having a perfect answer to convince every person i run into. most people wouldn't accept it as truth anyhow. and there is SO much evidence. like that sunset i was describing the last entry. how can you possibly look at that and then deny god's existance. i just don't get it.

so i'm gonna sit back and take a look around at this wonderful creation we have before us. i'm gonna relax a little, knowing that it isn't my responsibility to make someone see the truthfulness of the gospel or scripture. it's my responsibility to glorify god and enjoy him forever.

posted by Richard Okimoto at 16:52.

have you ever had a time where you just feel alone? i felt like that tonight... i returned some shoes that i got on saturday because we decided that we shouldn't get things that we don't need. i have a pair of shoes... i just don't like them and want to replace them. so that can wait.

anyhow.

when i left the place, the sun was setting and it was pretty awesome. the whole horizon was colorful.... from kind of a deep purple/grey on my right... all the way across to a pink-going-to-yellow on my left. mostly straight left, but still left. it was neat. and i could see my breath. and then i just felt alone. at least, that's the way i interpreted the feeling. it was just kind of deep, unsatisfying and sad feeling. and i knew i didn't want to be alone at that time. but... i've felt that way before, while in the middle of a big gathering of friends or family. so it's that feeling that, even though you aren't alone, you feel so alone.

while i was driving home tonight i decided i know that that feeling is. at least, for me. i decided that it was comprised of two parts.

part #1: me being unsatisfied with the relationships i have because of the sin involved in them; screwing them up. whether it's with my dad or my almost wife. i am not satisfied with how those relationships flow. sometimes they're good and sometimes they're bad. and when they're going good i don't think about them being unsatisfactory... but they are. most definitely. because i only want to be satisfied with what the lord is satisfied with. and he is never satisfied with my sin, however small it may be at the moment.

and part #2: my longing to have true fellowship with other believers and, more importantly (and specifically), jesus christ the lord and savior. and i just can't expand on point#2.

posted by Richard Okimoto at 21:45.